Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.
-- Kathy Lette I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
-- Bob Hope
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
-- Gracie Allen
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
-- George Burns (Just you and me Kid, 1979)
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
-- Sir Norman Wisdom
Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon...smart too late.
-- Mike Tyson
I'm affectionately known by Elton John as either Sylvia Disc or the Bionic Christian.
-- Sir Cliff Richard
You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.
-- John Mendoza
As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.
-- Carrie Fisher
As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.
-- Robert Quillen